I am finally beginning to allow myself the freedom of expression and of beauty. For a long time, I believed myself entirely inept and that I would never be capable of creating any sort of beauty. Actually, I still don't really. I attribute most of the beauty that I am able to convey to God and to computers. I am incapable of creation, however, I would like for you to see the world through my eyes, if you like. For a while, I struggled with a confusion of light and dark. I could not figure out which was the true me. I was a happy, bouncy person to the world, but when alone, my thoughts would grow dark. In each state, I believed the other to not be the true me at all. There could not possible be lightness and darkness coinciding. Just the other day, however, I went on an adventure. While I was on this adventure, I accidentally came to some realizations. One of which was the fact that both the comple light and the complete dark were somewhat fake, but that both dwelled within me. The dark was more a desire to be intellectual and expressive and creative. The light side was the side that I portrayed to the world because I didn't believe myself capable of the other. Thus, I am now trying to make the two live in harmony. I am trying to believe in myself more. I am deeply hoping that there is more to me than meets the eye. I am hoping to bring out the deeper side of me, while holding onto the joy and childlike-ness of the happy side. I am hoping to appreciate every little thing, and actually express my appreciation in a way that is understood by more than just me.